*No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
*When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
*They always catch the second person.
*You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
*Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
*Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
*School lunches stick to the wall.
*The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
*It's hard to unlearn a bad word.
*Twelve is a lot older than eight.
*Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.
*If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
*If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.
*If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.
*Don't nod on the phone.
These Cracked Me Up !!!!!